my edelweiss

MY EDELWEISS

It was first time He came to my house since we made friend for about twelve years. We were not close friend, it’s only because we had ever studied in a same elementary school. After that, we continued our study in different junior and senior high school. However, there was no ex- friend so, I should still called him friend, shouldn’t I? Although we had ever been foe when studying in kindergarten before finally he changed to be a silent and shy boy.

            “ex-cu-se me?” he drawled.

            “Mada!..” I pretended to be surprised from seriously reading a magazine even though I had just seen him skulking in front of the door for a minute.

            “emm, yes… I just want to… em, give this..” he said while putting a big plastic of mango on the table before me.

            “Are these from you? Where do you buy them?” I asked him. It was astonishing, more than when all my classmates joshed me that we (Mada and I) were a couple though we had never been close.

            “Oh..no! emm, I mean it is from my grandma. I just..”

            “Ya, I know. It’s impossible from you.” As I remembered, he had never given me something except if his grand mother asked him to. When we were still kindergarten, he stayed in his grand mother’s house which was next to my house. Therefore, world war III often happened. He always booed me and I boohooed about it. So, his grand mother and my mother were very busy because of it.

            “But, actually.. I need to say something.” He said suddenly.

            “What??”

            “emm, tomorrow I will climb a mount.. so.. I think I have to say good bye..”

            “and ask me to help praying for you..”

            “Ya, that’s true..” he nodded and smiled sweetly. It was so charming. His black and thick eyebrow as black as his cowlick and the rosy lips made me to confess it finally. I have just find what made the girls admiring him so. But, I think he was uneasy to be approached.   

            I smiled back at him and said, “ Okay, I will pray for you, but bring me edelweiss. I want to have one.”  

            He upraised his chin showing his agreement. Then we talked about our past war that was very interesting to reminisce. This cold night, I felt there was something different. Mada always smiled sweetly and from his eyes, I find a great happiness and it is brighter than the light of the lamp which was about two meters over us. We had never been as chummy as this night. I liked to miss him very much, Longing for someone who stayed near to me. It was strange, right? Mada just smiled to me and suddenly, I missed him very much. I knew that he had a cute face and it was so charming ( I had heard it from some girls who had ever seen him and I thought so). Besides, it was thousand times I saw him, not at the first sight.  I didn’t know how it could be. May be, it was the first time he really smiled to me. ‘Well, Elma.. forget it! May be he just did what his grandmother asked to him, just giving mangos.’ I told to myself.     

            “El.. I think I have to go home now. Mm, it’s better to prepare for climbing tomorrow.” He suddenly said again after we were going under our own reverie.

            I nodded and replied, “Ya, it is important for you to keep your energy. So you’ve to sleep early. And don’t forget to pray. Wish you luck! “

            “Thank you. I promise to take a most beautiful edelweiss for you..”

            “Don’t be serious! I’m just kidding.”

            “But, I’m serious and I’ve never broken my promise yet.” He said seriously. His eyed changed to be grey. I didn’t know what it meant. I was confused. Therefore, I just smiled at him. And Mada didn’t replied it. it was as if we have never talked as chummy as this night. He was vexing again.

            I saw his back until he disappeared. The loneliness came again although I knew my parents were very tired and slept soundly whereas my younger sister was watching TV in dining room. I looked at the magazine which I held and began to read it again for chasing both the loneliness and Mada’s shadow away. However, I got feeling bored. So, I closed the door and went to my room for sleeping. “Good night!” I whispered to myself.

            Three days after, the morning after Mada went climbing was so different then the mornings before. It was so quiet. The cloud was grey after drizzling. It was as if it got angry or disappointed or even sad. The wind was cool but prick. I felt so loss. I hope, Mada was always fine and Nothing bad would happen.

            “El..” a voice suddenly came.

            “ Oh, Evan? What brings you here?” I was surprised looking at the voice owner. He was also my classmate when we were at elementary school. He was also Mada’s close friend and he was always at same school with Mada.

            “How are you?” He asked.

            “Fine, thanks. But, you have not answered my question..” I said hurriedly. I was so anxious for what he actually would to tell.

            “Mm..have you heard about Mada?” he finally asked me.

            “What happened with Mada?”

            “Mm..wait!” he said and opened his bag to take such a gift. Then he gave it to me.

            “What is it?”

            “You can open it.. Mada often spent the nights at my home..so, it is left in my room and I think it is time for you to know it..” Evan said. I didn’t understand what he meant. I opened it hurriedly and took the things inside one by one.

            “Actually, I bundled him off to tell what he hid from you. But he was always shy and nervous to do it. Since he and you were in elementary school, he had been attracted to you. Until now, it hasn’t changed. You can see his drawing.. You are the most beautiful object for him. Besides, our group band have often sang the songs he made, and all are about you.. about his feeling to you..” Evan told more and more while I was seriously observing Mada’s things until I couldn’t hear his voice again. My mind flew away as far as the memory that Mada had painted in his drawings and songs. The drawings of a little boy and a little girl who were scrambling a ball, of a little boy who was peeping at a little girl sobbing on a swing and many of a girl who was doing what I had done. My tears slowly fell down when I read his song. 

            ‘I walk following you, and hide under the dim moonlight..

            What should I do to make you look back?

            Should I ask cloud to turn into rain?

            That I can come close to you for offering my umbrella’

            “El, are you okay?” Evan suddenly made me aware. I didn’t know that Mada had a deep feeling to me. I had never known that he was too shy and nervous to stay near me and come close to me. He always turned his head away when we met and it made me thinking that he didn’t want to see me. What a stupid I was!

            “Where is mada now, van? I’m sure he is standing not far away from here!”

            “Calm down, please..listen to me..”Evan asked. “Promise to me..You must be strong! Actually I have just a news again that Mada has just been found after he was lost for two days..”

            “What do you mean?”

            “SAR team has just evacuated him from the abyss.”

            “What a joke! It’s not funny! Should he become a coward after I know his feeling? Mada..Where are you? I know you’re here! I have accepted your love since the love itself came..Mada..!” I cried out in a great emotion.

            “El..I’m serious! Mada will never come again.. so I come here to tell what he actually want to..”

            “Stop it! I don’t want to hear that again! What such a kind of friend you are? You are cruel to say like that..” I said angrily.

            Evan held my shoulder strongly and said tenderly.”Elma..It was two days he was lost. Nobody can survive in abyss, right? I have just dreamed that Mada asked me to tell you all he has not told yet. And..”

            Evan took a thing again from his bag. “ Here it is! It is the first edelweiss that he got from his first climbing. He left it in my room. Actually I would return it to his house, but now I know why he left it. It is for you. Before he went to climb, he sent me message that he promised to bring a most beautiful edelweiss in his second climbing for you. So I tried to deliver his promise..”

            “Stop it, please..” I whispered. I began to lose my voice. My face was wet and my body got weak. I kneed. “Mada.. how can you leave me after I know all. I can’t believe it.”

            The grey cloud slowly melted. It drizzled again. I looked at the sky. I hope the drizzle would stop. Then, I looked at Evan. I knew that it was not me only who was sad now. I could see his eyes. Evan was also so hurt. Suddenly, his hand phone rang.  He just read the message that came and looked at me.

            “El, Mada will be buried soon. Will you come there?”

            “No, I will not. I still hope that he will come in well-condition..”

            “El..”

            “Please, van. I can never be strong to stand there. Don’t worry! I’m fine. You’ll better to go there now.” I said hurriedly. Evan nodded. He tried to smile but it looked worse. Then, he left me. I still kneed. My bones felt broken. Now, I knew that is why Mada had came to my house and said good bye. It was his last time.

            “Mada, you’re my edelweiss. Edelweiss is symbol of the eternality. So, I promise, you will be there in my heart forever and ever. And I will keep praying for you.” I looked at the edelweiss which I held in my hand. I tried to be strong, to believe and to accept that Mada would never come back again.

END

My Edelweiss, if there may be a reincarnation,

I want to meet you once again.

And I never let you go,

Nor go now.